Can you emerge stronger from a crisis?

The past two years have taught us a valuable lesson that we can't always be in control of a situation. We've learnt that change will always be inevitable. While we cannot ignore or avoid stress and anxiety in our lives, we certainly can discover newer and better ways to deal with it. How we respond to adversity today, determines our future tomorrow. Here, three amazing women show us how they emerged victorious after challenging times. 

Dr Prerna Kohli

One day, despite a flourishing career and a thriving personal life, you may find yourself at rock bottom. Fallen, like a pack of cards. But you’re not alone. Crises happens. And to everyone. What sets people apart is how they deal with the adversity—some let it bring them to their knees; others pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and start anew. And that entails finding a new perspective, realigning goals, and rerouting paths. “In life, each one of us will go through devastating phases where we feel that we have lost everything, that life is hopeless and, perhaps, not worth living," says Gurugram-based clinical psychologist and holistic practitioner, Dr Prerna Kohli. It could be the death of a loved one, loss of a job, bad health, or any other experience that shakes you up. “But, as human beings, we have a great deal of resilience to rise again and again,” she stresses.

Tripti Dimri

For actor Tripti Dimri, the biggest setback in life was when she was 11, in the sixth grade. “I had failed in mathematics and had to repeat the year. Those days, you couldn’t talk about your failures, you could only feel miserable about them. Nothing has been more distressing for me than that phase. I couldn’t sleep, my father had stopped speaking to me, I would hang my head low while walking, and had become extremely underconfident.” The incident continued to affect Dimri until a few years ago. “It was difficult for me to be around people, and it hampered my personal relationships, too. Feeling nervous is one thing, but feeling scared and judged is quite another. I had convinced myself that everyone was making fun of me and thinking I’m a failure.”

Sameera Reddy

For actor Sameera Reddy, life changed after the birth of her first baby. “I suffered from postpartum depression, and had gained 32 kilos! I felt utterly disconnected and lost. I was used to the highs of showbiz and was newly married, but I just couldn’t deal with this. I hid at home for two years—I hated myself and was so ashamed, it broke me.” It is not always the personal issues, though, that take a toll.

Natasha Jain

For Natasha Jain, CEO and co-founder of Bent Chair, it was when the pandemic brought business to what seemed like a crippling, uncertain halt. “The slowdown was the hardest thing to get over. While I pride myself at having a positive outlook, the phase was very tough. There was also a sense of helplessness—the livelihoods of so many people depended on me. It’s hard to describe that feeling. I was faced with the reality of recalibrating my business goals to suit the shifting trends.”

Experts will tell you that the first step to overcoming a setback often comes down to making peace with the situation and reworking your plans. “One has to have complete faith that nothing lasts forever. Not even the bad times,” Dr Kohli advises. It always helps to work on building a mentally strong personality, so you can enjoy the good times and sail through the bad ones. But once disaster strikes, it’s best to just accept the reality. “This is not the time to build your strength, but to draw from your reserves. And don’t hesitate to seek support from friends and family or even a professional,” she says. She recommends practising self-care and engaging in activities that nurture your mental, physical, and emotional health. Allow yourself to experience your emotions, irrespective of what they are. “It is crucial to go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, questioning, depression, and acceptance. Once you’ve accepted your reality, it will make it much easier to move on,” Dr Kohli elaborates. 

Reddy concurs. “I had to first admit that I was depressed, and stop hiding it. I visited a counsellor and took homeopathic medicines. I was lucky to have my husband's support—he was extremely understanding about my mood swings, and the inability to connect with him. I went through the struggle, but I was given time to simply ‘be’. Once I managed to pull myself together, the release I felt was incredible.”

Many might find relief and balance in simple joys like maintaining a gratitude journal. “It can have such a profound, positive effect on your mental health,” says Dr Kohli. “Each night, before going to bed, write three things that you are grateful for. They don’t have to be grand—even something like meeting a friend for coffee or finding a parking spot are great starting points. As you focus your energy on the positives, you will attract more positivity into your life,” she states.

Do bear in mind, here, that getting over the trauma isn’t a one-day job—it’s a series of attempts. “Let’s say your goal was to run a marathon and you’d been training for several months. But just weeks before the marathon, you have to undergo an emergency surgery. Would you still run or would you defer your goal to a later time, once you’re healed?” Dr Kohli, asks, adding, “There is a well-known saying, ‘Live to fight another day’. Deferring goals due to a crisis is a survival instinct.” Which means you don’t need to feel miserable for not ticking off all that you had set out to achieve, pre-crisis.

As Jain shares, “As an organisation, it is your responsibility to set realistic and dynamic goals. We knew we couldn’t maintain the same targets as before, so when we altered some business objectives, we ensured that our employees knew about them. That also helped them reorganise their priorities.” She and her team quickly adapted to working from home, as well. “I have restructured my lifestyle to the ‘new normal’. As they say, ‘The show must go on’, and if it must be through apps like Zoom, Teams, or WhatsApp, then so be it,” she smiles.

It may be hard at first, but try to look at the crisis as a life lesson, or a turning point, after which things get better. “When you fall and injure yourself, you have to give the wound some time to heal. You know it won’t just disappear overnight. However, you also know that you can’t blame yourself for falling,” Dimri says. Just remember, all in good time.