Should your colleague quitting the job hurt you?

So, my closest colleague is leaving this week, and I’m sad about it. Even though I knew the day would come, sooner or later, it’s finally sinking in that we won’t share work gossip or rant about how bad the day was or hang out often. It’s made me realise that friendships at work are wonderful and strange at the same time.

These are people you spend the majority of the day with, have lunch with, and brainstorm and work on projects to meet a pressing deadline. With time, you get closer and get to know about their personal lives—who they’re dating, who’s part of their family, what their weekend plans are and so on. The reason why I think they’re important in my life is because they understand what I go through; they are my voice of reason, pillars of strength; and they know how to bring a smile to my face when I really need it. Everything is smooth-sailing until the day one of them announces they’re quitting. 

You’re heartbroken and probably confused why you are heartbroken. Here are some tips to process this change and move on.  

Always be happy for them

There’s a good chance your colleague quit to pursue their dream or because they found a better opportunity—maybe more money, a promotion, or the dream job—or they didn’t want to work in the same organisation anymore. You may think they’re making a huge mistake but remember, it's their career and their dream, and they are allowed to give it a shot. Also, their decision to quit has got nothing to do with you. You need to come to terms with the fact that your life will change. It’s up to you to decide how much you want to let it affect you. To keep things uncomplicated, be professional, be happy for them for moving on, congratulate them and wish them the best. 

Take time to collect your thoughts 

Now that you’ve got the news, the important question is: What does it mean for you, at a professional level? Will you be doing their work or will a replacement be found? At a personal level, reflect on why you’re sad—is it because they are leaving or because you have to stay? Is it because you realise you need to grow professionally but got too comfortable and stopped looking? Seeing your colleague leave may be sad, but it also brings opportunities to make new friends, collaborate with others, and develop new skills.

It’s time to build a new network

They say when one door closes, the other opens. With a member of your team leaving, it’s time to foster new relationships with other colleagues and do activities that you probably didn’t do previously or said no to. Talk to other teammates and discuss things to do to ensure work goes on like it always did.  

Stay in touch

Out of sight doesn't have to be out of mind. For all you know, you and the colleague might just end up being better friends than you were at work. Maybe, you will realise you have more common topics to discuss other than work. You can make their transition to the new job easy by checking on them regularly. Also, plan an awesome farewell party to end things on an awesome note. 

Don’t gossip about them

If you don’t know the actual reasons for them quitting, don’t speculate. Even after they leave, stand up for them when they’re spoken about as they’re not there to defend themselves, and the only person who can is you.