Here’s how to embrace being a loner

Find solace in solitude.

Harper's Bazaar India

Despite the many friends and distractions that one has in life, it’s pretty easy to feel alone. Call it boredom or simply enjoying one’s own presence, people seem to have made peace with the fact that they’re the lone wolf in the pack and are enjoying life just as they’d like it to be. Over time, you have realised that you don’t want to spend your time with people or activities that you don’t enjoy. You have chosen yourself and the time that you now spend sees you enjoying things solo. What’s more, it doesn’t take you much time to figure out that you’re great the way you are and there are so many people around you who are just the same. Embracing being a loner never felt any better. 

To begin with, there is a difference between being a loner and an introvert

If you’re a loner, you’d avoid talking to people around you constantly. On the other hand, an introvert finds this very thing extremely taxing on an emotional level. Being all by themselves is the balance that introverts crave while loners choose to do so for personal reasons, mental health or the simple lack for any need of acceptance and validation. 

It starts with acceptance.

There is simply no reason to try to fit in and be someone you’re not or be worried as to why you’re not a social butterfly. Instead of wondering what’s wrong with you, it’s probably time to remind yourself the main reasons why you like being alone. Make a list and you’d see how easy it is to drive all these insecurities you once had away. 

And realizing why you like and enjoy being alone

Why look outside when you are able to find the happiness within you. Once you’ve accepted who you are—a loner—the next step is doing things that make you realize that. Start by changing your thinking and doing away with all the things that you thought were negative. For example, if people think you’re foolish to skip their party or get-together, remind yourself why you don’t like doing it. The opinions of what others think should be the last thing that matters. So, you do you. 

It’s good to be alone, but don’t forget the people you really need

The time you spend in your own company makes you truly value and cherish friends and relations that mean the most to you. With your circle immensely small, nurturing these relationships is what you can do next as you would need these people right by your side should/when things get tough. 

What you need to do to spend time alone

If you want more time for yourself, the first and perfect way to start is to limit the time you spend on social media. Furthermore, choose certain places—indoors as well as outdoors where you’d like to spend time being all by yourself. It could be the beach, the park, or your study—the choice is yours. If you’re at home, a simple do not disturb sign at the door works like a charm.

There’s so much that you can do alone outside without feeling weird or awkward about it. It could be trying out different restaurants, and tea/coffee shops, or enjoying nature and its beauty by going for a walk. The list is endless. And if you want to look occupied despite being alone, just carry a book or a pair of earphones. 

Focus on yourself when alone

Just remember, everyone’s way too busy to be interested in what you’re up to. When you’re outside, especially, you’ll soon realise that people just want to get on with their day. Shift the focus onto yourself and start embracing what you feel when you’re all alone instead of thinking about what others are thinking about you. You’ll be surprised and refreshed to see the change.