#GirlOnTheMove: Surviving the holidays away from home

It just needs to be said. Holidays away from family can be a real bummer sometimes, especially for the expat/immigrant communities. 

Whether for you that’s Onam, Diwali, Pongal, Christmas or New Year, it’s the hardest time of the year to be away from loved ones, especially in the digital age where we are getting constant reminders of what we are missing.  The holiday season is a representation of family and friends grounded in customs so when we don’t have those comfort levels, it can be the main cause of serious homesickness which can often lead to depression and anxiety.

If you are a first-time traveler, know that you aren’t alone. Those feelings you have are valid and there is no one who understands it more than the people who have gone through it. So to lend a hand, here are some tips and advice from my own experience as well as some fellow expatriates to help you get through your first solo holiday season. 

Don’t try to recreate the same thing

Christmas time hits the hardest for me. Coming from a country where 24 hour Christmas music stations can be found the day after Thanksgiving and holiday decor starts selling out by October, it can be a little disorienting then to come to a place and not feel that holiday spirit you grew up with and only natural to want to recreate the feeling of home. “The first year (I lived in Mumbai) I went to Goa but I was miserable—putting tinsel on palm trees for me just didn't quite cut it. The hotel did a roast dinner but it wasn't quite the same. Every time I tried to recreate an aspect of home Christmas, I just felt its absence more strongly” Nick, a theater consultant from the United Kingdom, living in Mumbai tells me. “Because it (Christmas) is about family and friends and they are in the UK. So now I might go to my friends here, especially my Christian friends in Bandra, and celebrate with them—the traditions may be slightly different, but the feelings of community and friendship will shine through. Plus you'll miss your roast turkey less if you've got a steaming plate of spicy roast pork belly from Bandra Gymkhana in front of you instead.”

His advice? “Don't try to recreate what you've 'lost' from home—instead explore what you've found - there are hundreds of new and different cultural quirks of celebration waiting to be discovered. One year I did manage to fly back to the UK for Christmas, and the turkey was great, but boy did I miss that Bandra Pork!”

Embrace the local festivities

For every one festival a country might celebrate, India must have ten to boot, each unique and beautiful on its own. India is home to 7 major religions, each rich with its own celebrations and traditions. There is a reason you left your home country to come explore another so it’s important to remember that. Checking out the local scene will allow you to witness first hand the excitement of moving abroad and immerse yourself in another culture. Others from the US agree. “Honestly, part of why I moved to Mumbai was the fun of the festive season, including Christmas which is celebrated by every group here in a brilliant mishmash of symbols and parties. I love to go to Ranwar Village for the lights and street parties, I’ve even shown some Bombay locals about this as they had no idea. That’s the thing about this city, right? So many surprises, new little enclaves and communal parties at every turn.”

Make your own traditions

I’m very lucky to have some of my closest friends from the U.S. come to India around the same time as I did. Due to our schedules over the years, we are not always available for the holidays but we still try to make time. One of our traditions- decorating the Christmas Tree. Having a sense of family and friends around helped to not only bring the joy of Christmas cheer here, but also teach our local friends about traditions from back home. If that is not an option, sometimes it can be nice to open your doors and teach others about your holidays as well. Adele, a French restaurateur-entrepreneur of Mumbai based restaurant “Taftoon” goes into more details. “I throw a festive dinner party, followed by a (slightly hungover) movie marathon of Christmas classics for whoever wants to come back for leftovers the next day! Back home, I love to entertain and do all the cooking, while the rest of the family decorates and puts the bubbly on ice, so this year I’m dedicated to doing the same here and invite whoever finds themselves in a similar situation or is simply curious about this holiday.”

Contact your fellow expat communities

One of the best things I could have done after moving to another country was to get in touch with the local expat group and that’s the main consensus of everyone I spoke to. From knowing no one, you suddenly have in your disposal an entire community who are facing the same struggles and frustrations. Before the holiday homesickness creeps in, take some time to reach out and make plans. Whether that’s to organize a party, go to local stores and get decorations, or even just to have someone to talk to, there will be a group of people who understand. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find yourself celebrating alone this festive season. In the spirit of Christmas and New Year, it’s not only important to spread cheer to those around you but to yourself as well. Compassion goes a long way in how we talk to ourselves. These feelings will soon pass and hopefully through these tips, it won’t only be coping strategies to get you through the season, but ways to develop new relationships with others and create new customs, no matter where you find yourself this holiday.