Can your dream job become a nightmare?

There once would have been a time when you approached your career with passion and joy. But now, even the idea of facing another day at work fills you with dread. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone. Surveys have revealed that most professionals, especially women (a whopping 68 percent versus 50 percent men, according to one poll) let their jobs consume them completely... And the career they once cherished, ends up burning them out so deeply, their dream job turns into a nightmare! While some fleeting ennui or displeasure with the daily dealings of work is entirely normal, a sense of drudgery is not the same: one may experience overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism, or a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment, according to research. The ultimate manifestation could be a desire to throw in the towel.

Deloitte, for its Women At Work 2022 report, studied 5,000 women in the workplace, across 10 countries— to conclude that burnout had, indeed, reached alarming levels. 53 percent women reported higher stress levels, and one-third had taken time off work due to mental health issues. Interestingly, despite all the talk about healthy boundaries, the ‘always on’ culture continued to be heavily rampant, and over one-third of women rated their ability to switch off from work as “poor” to “very poor”.

And while the pandemic blurred the lines between home and office like never before—which has certainly exacerbated the problem—the skewed axis was always an issue. Questioning this rising concern, Bazaar India spoke with four established professionals on the indications that reveal a deep-seated problem with one’s work, and the ways in which one can ensure equilibrium...

Rita Banerji - Author, and Founder, the #50MillionMissing campaign

“When I was starting out, in the ’90s, the term ‘multitasking’ was in fashion. We heard it everywhere, particularly in the context of women. This idea took root that women were more capable than men of effortlessly handling multiple tasks simultaneously, of juggling home, office, etc. Because, apparently, it came naturally to us.

It was ridiculous, but the social pressure was so intense, that most women went with the flow and burnt out.

As I grew older and got a better sense of myself—and what I want and don’t want—it became easier for me to prioritise. To be more efficient at work, while still having a life outside of it, one must learn to prioritise tasks: know what is important, and what can wait.

Another critical step is to uni-task, not multi-task: do one thing at a time. I try to give my undivided attention to whatever I am doing—to be in the moment fully.

Different things work for different people, but I find that taking a break—and giving myself space to breathe and grow in different directions—re-energises me at work. It also gives me newer, more creative insights into old projects. I also pull out time for hobbies. Photography, for instance, without the pressure that an assignment brings, slows me down and helps me observe the world around me in small, enjoyable frames.

On a practical level, one of the most useful things I did was to get rid of my smartphone. I carry a keypad phone, so I can be reached, but the obligation to immediately respond to every e-mail and message was a big drain on my time and energy.

I have a designated time when I log in to check my e-mails and messages. This system reduces a lot of anxiety and stress, and allows me to enjoy my life and my profession.”

Anuja Joshi - Founder, Interflora India

“In the beginning of my career, there used to be this pressure to prove my worth, but over the years, I’ve mindfully moved away from it. Today, I work because it makes me content— and other people can’t determine my value.

Some ways in which I’ve made sure that my professional life isn’t all-consuming are: a) I don’t discuss work outside of office—I find it is not necessary; b) I take a family vacation whenever I can. This also helps me gain fresh perspective on the same-old; c) I spend quality time with my two daughters—they always know how to make me smile, no matter what; d) I take self-care very seriously. Look good, feel good— it’s so true.

Sometimes, bad working hours or styles can become toxic, making you contemplate opting out of even the most coveted job. I’ve had my days, too, where I’ve felt extremely tuckered out—to the point where I just could not function, physically, or mentally. There have also been times when I feared I was not being able to give my husband and children the time they deserved. But now, I’ve become an expert at maintaining schedules. I segregate all the work—and chalk out slots even for minute tasks. This puts me in a good state of mind when starting the day, because I know I am prepared. My family teases me for this habit, but I know what a game-changer it has been for me.

There are also some tools and mediums that have helped me take stock of the personal and professional, and realign goals. I highly recommend reading Shoe Dog... by Phil Knight; The Founder’s Mentality... by Chris Zook and James Allen; and The Wit & Wisdom of Ratan Tata, which is his autobiography. I also enjoy watching OTT content—it helps me relax, and invariably teaches me a thing or two as well.

Another way I take time off work to refuel my creative juices is by meditating. It clears any unnecessary mental clutter, and prepares me to deal with whatever is to come. I wake up at 6 a.m. every single day to meditate. Mindset, to me, is what makes the difference, and meditation can strengthen and reinforce a positive perspective.

However, I’d say finding balance is still an ongoing process. And there will still be moments when things go south. But once you learn how to pick yourself up and move on, it’s going to be okay. There is no right or wrong way to finding this balance—you just have to find a system that makes you feel the most at peace. Only, don’t be afraid to fail, and don’t be afraid to try.”

Arundhati Bhattacharya - Chairperson and CEO, Salesforce India

“The life of a female banker, in a frequently transferable job, with a family, hasn’t been easy. There were several breaking points when I almost thought of quitting my career to balance my aspirations with my family’s needs. We all face such conflicts that overwhelm us to such an extent that work takes a back seat. But it’s important to not feel defeated in that phase.”

During my stint at SBI in 2006, for example, I found myself at a crossroads. I was posted in Lucknow to take charge of the eastern Uttar Pradesh region—but considered quitting and moving to a bigger city to give my daughter better schooling. My mentor advised me not to give up before I had exhausted all possibilities. Giving up is the easiest option. Instead, I faced all my obstacles with humour and positivity, and took up every assignment as a new chapter in learning and adapting.

Looking back, I could have never imagined that one day I would go on to Chair India’s largest bank, or lead a part of one of the largest tech organisations in the world, post retirement. My biggest learning in life has been to never surrender. I also believe that not bowing to societal pressure is an excellent way to ensure you reach where you want to be. And to get past moments of self-doubt, tell yourself, ‘I can do it and I will do it’.

Irrespective of your roles and responsibilities in a workplace, it is imperative to spend quality time with your loved ones in order to de-stress. It doesn’t necessarily have to be elaborate such as taking a long vacation. It can be as simple as having a meal together at some point during the day, or creating small rituals like exchanging notes on books that you’ve read, before bedtime. I also enjoy travelling when it’s not for work. And I often read five books at a time—in fact, I have recently published my own book, Indomitable: A Working Woman’s Notes on Work, Life and Leadership, which is the story of my journey and the challenges I’ve faced and overcome as a banker in a male-dominated bastion.

Having a strong support system at work and home gives individuals the ability to have a sustainable worklife balance, too. I have family, friends, colleagues, and caretakers on whom I rely during tough times. This doesn’t happen automatically—I have to reach out and stay connected so that we can have each other’s backs.

To ascertain your work doesn’t trickle down to your personal life, address the problem as quickly as possible. Postponing will only make it worse.

Additionally, ensuring that you are not indispensable either at work or home also plays an important role in maintaining a worklife balance. As a leader, too, one needs to build a team that can step in when someone is unavailable—as do teams at home, which may consist of relatives, friends or careworkers.”

Ruchira Shukla - Regional Lead, South Asia, Disruptive Technologies (Direct Investing and VC Funds), International Finance Corporation (IFC), World Bank Group

“Your job is what you make of it, and you have to define your hours and style in a manner that brings out the best in you. Because only when you bring 100 percent of yourself to what you do, will you be able to deliver exceptional results—which is great not only for your job, but also for you. Think of your job as a dancer on stage...the stage has to be smooth, the air fresh, and the music inviting. That is when the performance becomes magical.

Your job, too, has to provide you the right stage to perform your best. I have quickly moved away from jobs and situations where there was too much friction, resistance, or politics—those rapidly erode motivation levels and are a dampener to one’s efforts.

Think in terms of return on energy invested (your very own ROEI). If there are elements in your work environment that add to inefficiencies or distress, and hence dilute your ROEI, it is time to re-think why you are there, and remind yourself there is a world of opportunity beyond. Be brave, believe in yourself, and take the leap.

I think the sense of one’s ‘complete’ self is extremely important. And to me, continual learning and growth implies the complete self is always expanding intellectually, experientially, and spiritually.

I have made use of some tactical measures to help me navigate my work. For instance, calendar management is extremely important, and my assistant is a saviour. Being disciplined about prioritising and delegating as much as possible is another important tactic. I would also suggest you write a list of the things that are important to you, and designate time for each activity on a weekly basis.

I set quarterly goals for things I want to do—it helps me keep track of my progress and re-prioritise if I am falling behind. Thoughtfully saying ‘no’ to the things that are not accretive, and building a solid team and trusting them to get things done, while staying close enough to spot and avert issues before they come up, are other steps that help.

I also try to keep e-mails and meetings short— people completely understand how busy things can get, and there is nothing wrong or rude about being focused. At the same time, I like balancing ‘transactional discussions’ with ‘soulful conversations’ that have no agenda at all and create a true human-to-human connect...this can be extremely enriching, expansive, and energising to draw out the best in you

I’d also recommend adding some well-known classics to your reading list—Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, and Be Here Now by Ram Dass. I’ve practised Vipassana Meditation, too... Anchoring oneself with a strong yet grounded sense of self provides a helpful perspective in working through stressful situations. I’ve often turned to some of the basic tenets of the Bhagavad Gita to help me navigate tough phases in my life.”