Are you taking dating too seriously? Here’s how you can allow yourself to have more fun

For once, throw caution to the wind, but responsibly.

Harper's Bazaar India

We grew up believing falling in love is easy but building a relationship is not. But after going through my share of break-ups, being hurt, and embarking on a journey of self-healing, I can tell, falling in love is not easy. It is difficult, considering the mistrust, commitment issues, and past disappointments that we carry with us. It’s not easy to let someone in as we always have our guard up and have a strong idea about who we are and what we seek. Falling in love requires you to be vulnerable and possibly have compatible attachment styles. 

But how exhausting is it to enter a date being occupied by the pressure it brings?

Are you reading a lot into their behaviour? Do you start wondering if they will be a part of your life, two dates down the line? Have you set a deadline to find love? Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself to grow your connection with the person(s) you’re dating? If your answer is yes to any of these statements, you may have forgotten to let yourself have fun while dating.

You deserve to have fun. You deserve to not feel any weight on your shoulder and just be happy. So, allow yourself to have a spring in your step while you’re dating, instead of worrying about what happens next or about just how much they are into you. 

Here’s how you can do that. 

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

Talk to multiple people. Go on many dates and have fun. Only after you develop a strong connection with one of your romantic interests, you must begin to distance yourself from others—that is, if you want to. Unless it’s exclusive, keep your options open, and enjoy the attention!

Stay in the present 

Stop reading into everything. You cannot possibly predict the fate of every romantic connection you develop. So, enjoy the present—if it makes you feel good, do it and if something doesn’t feel right, say bye, because you can. Cuddle with your boo and think only about how it feels to be wrapped up in their arms rather than trying to gauge if they like you enough or if it will outlive the Barbiecore trend. However, it doesn’t mean you stop dating mindfully. You must have your expectations and goals set but live a little instead of being caught up with those.

Do what your heart says 

Sometimes, consciously or subconsciously, we hold ourselves back due to a plethora of reasons. You may be hesitant because you’re afraid of rejection or because of how you are conditioned to behave with romantic partners, owing to your past relationships. But just drop all of this! Do what your heart says and that’s how you will realise what you truly need. If they can’t fly with you, let them fly away from your life! 

Have crazy sex

What’s the point of dating a lot, if you’re not getting enough orgasms? Being present in the moment also means going for the intimacy you want and seek, without overthinking it. Be mindful and safe, think about what you want, and then let hesitation leave the building!

Plan fun dates 

Life is too short to be sitting across a table with a dull dud. Instead, go out with fun people who match your vibe. Plan dates that include doing things you love doing—pottery, movies, dancing or anything you enjoy!