Why self-help books may not actually "help"

Despite the number of self-help books available in the market, they most often tend to deliver lesser than they promise. Amidst the sea of information, tips, tricks, hacks, and guides, people need to realise that in order to improve in life, you need to act upon habits and behaviours that don’t work for you. If you only rely on self help books, it won’t suffice.

What you read isn’t scientifically proven

Self-help books make for a great read—they are simple and mainly talk about human behaviour and habits that one may be broadly familiar with. These books are backed by research and survey and involve the author talking to experts and respondents. However, the responses of a particular sample size or demographic may not be representative of people worldwide. The question that often arises, is it relevant to everyone? Are people around me going through the same journey and problem? While the book may strike a chord with you at some point, it’s important to take into cognizance that the author has written about what works for them. Often, evidence-backed advice imparted in self-help books, and research doesn’t apply to everyone across the globe.

Commonality and contradiction 

In a self-help book, the author speaks from personal experience. Their ultimate goal is to urge the reader to do better. Often, the information shared common knowledge to common, everyday problems. However, some authors give contradictory solutions, leaving the reader confused about their goals, strategies, and tactics. How does a reader make a choice? Some self-help books may give false hope or harmful solutions and there is no way to tell. 

What works for one, might not work for the other

Self-help books are written by people who have overcome obstacles to prevail and want to help readers facing similar situations. They talk about what worked and what didn’t, failures that played an instrumental role in shaping the person’s life.

Some books may give a step-by-step guide to tackle the situation. But what happens when tons of people do the same thing? They may or may not succeed. One cannot discount the mysterious ways of the world and the element of luck. The truth is everybody’s circumstances, capabilities, and goals are different; a simple one-size-fits-all piece of advice doesn’t work for people.

Self-help books may end up giving you a sense of false hope. Maybe your depression is genetic, you are grief-struck, or are subjected to generational trauma that you haven’t discovered yet, but most of these books tell you to ‘wake up positive’ to feel great—in many more words. But sometimes, people don’t know how to. Enter a therapist or a counsellor, who will help you look inwards to understand what is relevant and applicable to you. The answers will always come from within. It’s important to know that books will only do 10% of the job. A book may speak to you, but it is not a two-way street here.  

Inputs by Sherene Aftab, founder of Serene Hour Counselling & Career Advice Consultancy and Mehezabin Dordi, clinical psychologist, Sir H N Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai