We’ve all had our share of toxic exes and break-ups, but often, we end up gaining lessons from these relationships that help us become better people. While I am unsure if an old ex of mine had genuine feelings for me, I am certain that some things he said stayed with me as I grew up. He always encouraged me to learn to enjoy my own company and it’s ironic how that’s exactly what helped me get through every single of my break-ups!
I started by sitting in a cafe, sipping on a cup of coffee and immersing myself in the pleasures of the written word. As I got more courageous, I went on to go to movies alone and then, finally, I decided to treat myself to a sangria at a nearby pub. It’s been a journey and I truly feel that solitude recharges me more than anyone's company does.
Between loneliness and solitude, the difference is mostly in perception and choice. Loneliness can be like it’s forced upon you and solitude is the bliss you seek.
Being alone with yourself can teach you a lot, if you’re willing. Here are a few things you learn along the way.
You learn that silence can be beautiful
When you’re surrounded by your loved ones, laughter and conversations keep you distracted from your thoughts. However, when you’re sitting by yourself or even going for a run, you learn to be quiet. You learn that while conversations can be fun, silence can be soothing, too, in its own way. It can teach you to embrace calm and stillness as you immerse yourself in things that connect you with yourself.
You learn to prioritise your happiness
You learn to be independent
Imagine, you’re in a city, travelling solo and you don’t have anyone sharing the little tasks such as figuring out the commute or planning an itinerary with you. You learn to be your own support system, enjoying the steps you take towards becoming an independent person. You’re out there, making mistakes, learning from them, and just embracing the self-reliance you’ve discovered!
You learn to feel comfortable amidst unfamiliar faces
You learn more about who you are
With no one to talk to and no one to tell you what to do, you can use the solitude to reflect on what you love doing, what makes you who you are, what makes your heart sing, and why certain things bother you. Unless you give yourself some quiet time, you will never be able to spend time with yourself. And we know, that to know someone better, you have to spend time with them!