Leading female bosses from India share cues on how to be more resilient at work

According to a survey by the Leadership Development Centre, New Zealand, being 'resilient' is a crucial leadership characteristic, vital for greater efficiency at work. Interestingly, in the survey, female leaders rated consistently higher than their male counterparts in all Leadership Success Profile areas—‘achieving ambitious goals’, ‘enhancing team performance’, ‘honesty and courage’, etc. Except for on—resilience. Worryingly, many other studies worldwide conclude that women tend to be less resilient, more often than not.

And the low scores are typically triggered by self doubt, and indecisiveness. In fact, a report published by The Resilience Institute, Europe, goes on to add that women also fared lower on other factors that “underpin resiliency”, like impulse control and tactical calm. Sadly, given the social biases and gender-based conflicts that exist in the professional world, it is an ineluctable necessity for women to be resilient and tenacious, if they wish to be successful.

Take, for instance, the ‘pecking order’ here (yes, it does exist). As Lynn Schmidt, the co-author of Shift Into Thrive: Six Strategies For Women To Unlock The Power Of Resiliency, says in an interview to Forbes, this order is largely based on unconscious biases, and determines the treatment of candidates—who may be considered first for a promotion, whose ideas may be given more weightage, etc. The order, according to Lynn, is: first, white men; second, men of colour; then, white women; and lastly, women of colour.

This gender divide stands true for India, too—a number of surveys show that men employees are favoured over women, in most aspects. To hack such Gordian knots at work, women must learn to toughen up. But what is resilience, really? Simply put, it is one’s ability to cope with any curveballs thrown at them. It is the grit to rebound, stronger, from failures. Oftentimes, it is just the confidence to not cave in, despite all opposition. But cultivating resilience is not an overnight job—it takes work to condition yourself to persevere. And luckily, there are many productive tools and mediums that you can turn to, to embark on this journey. Bazaar India spoke to some successful female leaders about how they taught themselves to be more resilient...that you can learn from, too.

Samarpita Samaddar, Communications Director, Bumble, India, and Southeast Asia

“Many of us think we have to be perfect to get ahead. And so, we are terrified of even the tiniest mistake we make. We forget that it’s okay to fail...what’s crucial is to pick yourself up and march on. There will always be hardships and moments of self-doubt, but being resilient will help you show up for yourself in those times. And that will make all the difference. I’ve learnt to be resilient by simply never giving up. Over the years, in the face of all kinds of crises, I’ve just kept going. There were difficult, frustrating times, but I refused to hang up my hat. Instead, I paused, gathered myself, and rebuilt myself...again and again. I’ve found that little things help, like starting my day with projects that are comparatively easier to tackle. That gives me a sense of accomplishment, and motivates me to build up to bigger tasks. Self-affirmations can do wonders as well. Tell yourself aloud, and often, that you are amazing and are proud of yourself, of your choices, of staying strong. I could be trembling inside, but I keep saying to myself, ‘You can do this!’ it always works. I’m also an obsessive reader and one of my favourite books is Grit by Angela Duckworth. It’s a great piece of non-fiction, on the power of determination and resilience. I also feel that as female professionals in senior positions, it’s important that we own up to some of the bumps along the journey, as well as lift others up, to create an environment where women can feel safe to both flourish and fail. Women must show empathy, kindness, and encouragement to other women, in order to become resilient as a community.”

Ipsita Das, Managing Director, Moët Hennessy India

 “The key is to always keep your eye on the prize and have a ‘never say die’ attitude. During my school days, I used to be a competitive swimmer. I won many medals, lost many more. After every race, I’d reflect upon what I did right and what went wrong—was it the plunge, or the summersault? Could I have avoided that extra breath? There were times when I’d be overly critical of myself, but I realised that it only ended up negatively impacting my next performance. The best way to deal with any setbacks was to learn fast and move on. And today, that’s how I tackle issues in life as well. Also, different challenges demand different levels of resilience. But what helps, invariably, is the ability to look at the bright side of every story. Calming activities can let off steam and strengthen resilience, too. For me, it’s playing Lego. I love their Creator series, and the latest I’m playing with is the NASA Apollo Saturn V, of 2,000 pieces. Lego, to me, is about the 3Cs: concentration, creativity, and confidence. I’ve also picked up the Rubik’s Cube recently, to relax and refocus. Every time I am stressed, you’ll find me with the cube. Talking of the ‘pecking order’, yes, unconsciously and consciously, biases do exist. One can’t deny that. And to break the glass ceilings, women need to use both words and actions. When it comes to action, for any woman looking to move up in her career, it is imperative to play the next role without even being asked to. Don’t be content with what you are doing, and don’t wait for instructions on what to do. If I were to pass on my position to someone, and I see this person already playing my role, I’d know they are a good succession plan and would definitely consider them for the promotion. Similarly, speaking up is inevitable. You can’t not have a voice. It might be right or wrong, loud or soft, but it needs to be there, for people to know that you have an opinion. It shows that you care.”

Darshini Shah, Founder, Design By Darshini

“Resilience has helped me break through the most complicated circumstances, as well as frame stability in long-term projects. During charged situations at work, the power of writing— more specifically, journaling—always helps me. It enables me to evaluate and make better sense of the problem. Journaling is also a great way to collect my thoughts, and be able to stand my ground, confidently. Meditating is another coping mechanism I often turn to, to deal with the highpressure temperament of my profession without collapsing under the stress. Long walks amidst greenery and being one with nature are my other foolproof go-tos. I’d also recommend watching inspiring talks and interviews—it really bolsters one’s confidence. Indra Nooyi’s [former chairperson and CEO of PepsiCo] chat with Adi Ignatius [editor-in-chief of Harvard Business Review], in the video series, The New World of Work, is one of my favourites. Travelling, talking to people, and exchanging ideas can be immensely helpful, too. Doing this has, unfailingly, restored my determination during the lowest of lows, both professionally and personally, and helped me bounce back. Nothing can make you resilient like being thrown in the deep end, though. I’ve had a tough personal journey—a difficult marriage, followed by a divorce. Having to develop the courage to walk out of a marriage and begin afresh was a huge challenge—but also one that made me a much tougher, resilient individual. During that time, my work, and a solid support system—of family and friends—kept me going. Just remember, no obstacle is insurmountable if you decide to stay resolute.”

Suhasini Sampath and Anindita Sampath, Founders, Yogabar

 

“Given that we have been practising yoga for many years, neither of us gets unsettled by stress or pressure too easily. I think yoga is highly underrated in regard to the kind of mental strength and resilience it can build. A consistent yoga practice has helped us centre ourselves, reveals Anindita. “Reading books and watching movies based on real-life stories helps, too,” adds Suhasini. “They enable you to visualise how people react to different situations and also serve as great reminders that life is nothing but an accumulation of different situations. How we react to them can alter the results,” she states. “If ever faced with a conflict at work, we address it without letting the negativity get the better of us.” Anindita tells us. “Most strong women tend to get typecast, but that is no reason why you can’t have a personality that people admire and respect. While there is no excuse for bad behaviour, you can’t not put your point across for the fear of being labelled. It’s all about building a culture of trust and respect around you,” she opines. “Former German Chancellor, Angela Merkel’s story is the greatest of all time! To be the most powerful woman on Earth, lead with such grace, and yet be so humble and considerate is just phenomenal! She is a woman we admire immensely,” says Suhasini. “And, of course, our mom,” adds Anindita.

Lead image: Harper's Bazaar India