How to deal with spending Diwali all by yourself

This weekend is going to be like no other. There is festivity in the air, streets and homes are LIT AF (literally), and almost everyone's social calendar is packed. Almost. While most people will be decked up in our ethnic finest—think contemporary silhouettes or kurtas, would have picked home decor, sweets, and gifts to bring in the festive feel, many will spend the weekend by ourselves. 

They might be living away from home, probably in another country or haven't managed to get leaves to spend time with loved ones. Whatever the case, it can be a bit tough to get through the weekend in quiet, while everyone around you is cheery. We know nothing compensates for being around your loved ones, but here are a few ways you can feel a little less alone this Diwali weekend.

Why do feelings of loneliness get amplified during festivals? 

To begin with, festivals come with an added pressure to experience it a certain way, and when you are not able to live up to this expectation, the feelings of loneliness and sadness get magnified. At such times, sometimes, it's difficult to spend time with friends as they may have other priorities. You may feel FOMO and might constantly feel like you are not enjoying enough or something is lacking in your life.  

Dos and don'ts of celebrating festivals alone

It is important to recognise and acknowledge emotions, instead of suppressing and denying it. It’s okay to embrace being a loner and allow yourself to feel the emotion. Acknowledging emotions, rather than shunning or suppressing them, is the first step to actually being able to deal with or overcome feelings.

The next step is to stop comparing your situation with others as it can only intensify the negative emotions. Believing everything that people share on social media can only give you FOMO or make you feel sad. 

Remember, this is not a permanent feeling

While on most days of the year, these people would be surrounded by friends, family or loved ones, it might be different during festivals for various reasons. While it may feel like you have no one to celebrate with, which we get is not a great feeling, you have to understand that everyone has different priorities during festivals and you should go easy on yourself. Remind yourself that these negative feelings aren't permanent. Be mindful that your negative emotions don't get the better of you and are blown out of proportion. 

Solo activities for the Diwali weekend 

In the absence of your friends and family, it doesn't have to be all over for you. There are many ways you can celebrate the festival by yourself and make the festive season more manageable. The first thing should be to practice self-compassion; it’s okay to feel a certain way. Take some time out to understand what self-care means to you and what makes you truly happy when there’s no one; treat yourself to that, pamper yourself. Create your own celebration ritual and do it every year to make it special. If stepping out is going to remind you about not having your people with you, bring the celebrations where you are. Make your house more cheerful with some new decor or at the least, put on beautiful, festive clothes. 

If your family is physically away, remember you’re only a call away from seeing them. It’ll help you feel less lonely. Yes, it won’t take away the feelings entirely, but it’s better than not doing anything.

Inputs by Sherene Aftab, founder of Serene Hour Counselling & Career Advice Consultancy, Mehezabin Dordi, clinical psychologist, Sir H N Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai