Billie Eilish says she’s “Physically attracted to” but also “intimidated by” women

Billie Eilish spoke candidly about her perception of other women in a new interview with Variety.

The Grammy-winning singer, who has long been subject to intense scrutiny over her sexuality, got real about feeling “physically attracted to” and “intimidated by” women, despite personally struggling to relate to the idea of femininity.

“I’ve never really felt like I could relate to girls very well,” she told the outlet. “I love them so much. I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real.”

She continued, “I have deep connections with women in my life, the friends in my life, the family in my life. I’m physically attracted to them. But I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence.”

Them notes that Eilish has previously been accused of “queerbaiting”—a term that refers to creators hinting at a fictional character’s sexuality in order to appeal to LGBTQ+ audiences without ever meaningfully or explicitly discussing their queerness.

Elsewhere in the interview, Eilish opened up about her complicated relationship with her body, which has also faced years of undue public speculation. The singer’s signature red-carpet style—which often invokes baggy or oversize clothing—has put an unwanted emphasis on what her body looks like, a problem that she has previously spoken about.

“I wasn’t trying to have people not sexualize me,” she said. “But I didn’t want people to have access to my body, even visually. I wasn’t strong enough and secure enough to show it. If I had shown it at that time, I would have been completely devastated if people had said anything.”

Eilish reflected on how her view of herself has affected her attitude toward being sexualized by the public. “Maybe my not really caring about being sexualized is because I’ve never felt desired or desirable,” she explained. “I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you. I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine. I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl. I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl.”

The singer slammed the unwelcome attention toward her natural body parts. “I have big boobs. I’ve had big boobs since I was nine, and that’s just the way I am. That’s how I look,” she said. “You wear something that’s at all revealing, and everyone’s like, ‘Oh, but you didn’t want people to sexualize you?’ You can suck my ass! I’m literally a being that is sexual sometimes. Fuck you!”

The double standards for men are very apparent. As she points out, “Nobody ever says a thing about men’s bodies. If you’re muscular, cool. If you’re not, cool. If you’re rail thin, cool. If you have a dad bod, cool. If you’re pudgy, love it! Everybody’s happy with it. You know why? Because girls are nice. They don’t give a fuck because we see people for who they are!”

This piece originally appeared in Harper's Bazaar USA.