What is a ‘soft-girl budget’? Here's how to spend on yourself without feeling guilty

I was 23 when I earned my first pay cheque. At 32, when I casually tell people that I enjoy doing my nails every month as a little treat to myself, I’m often met with an awkward silence that reeks of judgment. As much as I feel bad for those who are yet to discover the joy that comes with spending a little on yourself, it’s also, in all honesty, a valid feeling. 

Because, personally, it took me a while to realise and learn that loving myself less isn’t going to help anyone. And, if someone truly seems to benefit from my needless sacrifices, I’d be better off without them. (Read that again, if you have to). Without digressing any further from the topic I’d like to raise, while the concept of saving up for a rainy day and taking that principle to the extreme remains obsolete in 2026, the niggling feeling of uncertainty that stings every time you wish to indulge on yourself isn’t entirely your fault. And experts back this.

The guilt isn’t about money—it’s conditioning

“In the Indian context, guilt around spending on yourself is not just about money. It reflects a conditioning especially for women who have been taught self-sacrifice, delayed gratification, and the belief that pleasure is excessive and to be earned,” opines Ayesha Sharma, psychotherapist and founder of Dialogue Mental Health, who contends that if you’re someone who saves “for a rainy day,” a no-questions-asked soft-girl budget can actually be reparative. “It teaches your nervous system that safety and joy don’t have to be mutually exclusive, and that being cared for can start with caring for yourself.” 

Enjoying your money is not financial failure

A similar perspective helped Nasreen Patel, an entrepreneur and founder of Scoop Publicists to set aside a portion of her finances for the ‘fun stuff’. “Look, if your bills are covered and your responsibilities are handled, I truly believe everyone needs a 'soft-girl budget' in their life. I used to get so stressed out about my savings goals until my dad sat me down and asked, 'What are you working so hard for if you can’t actually take the time and the money to enjoy your life right now?' And that really changed the way I viewed the idea of spending on myself.” 

Thinking along similar lines, besides conditioning, Gopali Tiwari, a YouTuber and Digital Content Creator, believes a lot of women don’t struggle with saving; they struggle with allowing themselves to enjoy what they earn without feeling irresponsible. She says, “That guilt is usually learned. We’re taught to prioritise everyone and everything else first, and by the time it comes to spending on ourselves, it feels indulgent even when it’s reasonable.” 

Treat yourself—but define the limit

While the old-school mindset of waiting until you're retired to finally indulge yourself just doesn't feel relevant anymore, Patel cautions against confusing treating yourself to overspending. “I know how easy it is to accidentally overspend when you’re constantly telling yourself, 'it’s okay to treat myself,” she states. To fix that, the best thing you can do is narrow it down to the 2 or 3 specific things that genuinely make you happy—whether that’s a shopping trip, getting your nails done, or sitting down at your favourite restaurant. “Just like you do with your rent or your groceries, set aside a specific budget for that fun stuff. It gives you a clear limit to work with, so you aren’t depriving yourself, but more importantly, it gives you total peace of mind.” 

10 to 15% that belongs to you—no questions asked

The first step, as with most things, is mental. So start by making it a personal reminder to refuse treating self-spending as a mistake, and rather start treating it as a decision, notes Sakchi Jain, a CA and Financial Educator. “I always suggest keeping a small, defined portion of your income just for yourself, no questions asked. For most people, 10 to 15% of their monthly income works well. This can sit inside your “wants” bucket, but mentally, it’s your soft girl budget.” She further reveals how mindful indulgence has helped her love money better. “And personally, I’ve noticed something about myself. When I consciously allow myself to enjoy my money, I actually feel more motivated to earn more. Treating myself doesn’t make me careless. It makes me feel energised, confident, and more in control of my finances.”

Pay yourself first—every single time

An easier way to get around this is by paying yourself first. “Every time money comes in—brand deal, client payment, whatever—immediately move 10-15% to a separate account. This is your money. For fun. For you,” suggests Isha Jaiswal, a chartered accountant, adding that most people do it backwards. “Money comes in, they pay bills, team, expenses... and then hope something is left over. That's why they feel guilty spending—it feels like they're taking from somewhere important. But flip it. Pay yourself first. Every single time. Example: You get ₹1 lakh from a project. Immediately, ₹15,000 goes into your "fun account." Done. Now handle everything else with what's left. Why does this kill guilt? Because that ₹15,000 was always meant for you. You're not stealing from your business. You're not being irresponsible. You planned for it. Think of it like paying your internet bill. Do you feel guilty? No, because it's supposed to be paid. Your happiness is the same.”

Intentional indulgence vs emotional avoidance

While occasional and mindful indulgence feels like a dopamine hit, Sharma warns young people to be wary of spending on things to numb or avoid difficult feelings. “ If the spending is intentional and nourishing, rather than distracting from things, it might be helpful. To reduce guilt, decide in advance on a budget that feels responsible rather than impulsive. And practice being emotionally aware of the why and the when. You’re no longer “being irresponsible” if these guidelines are kept in mind and decisions are made consciously.” 

Just in case you’re still wondering, the verdict is out and clear: a soft girl budget isn’t something to feel guilty about. It’s actually a sign that you understand your money and yourself. Take a breather and clear your cart—and heart! 

How to budget better so you’re not stone-cold broke by the end of the month?

Shivam Budhiraja, Finance Content Creator, Education and Entrepreneur, suggests, "To avoid being broke by month-end, follow a simple split: 50% for needs, 30% straight to savings and investment and 20% just for you. This can change over time, like maybe 40% needs, 40% savings, and 20% you. But what matters is protecting the part that’s yours. Within that 20% spend, some spend on friends and some on soft-girl moments like grabbing a cup of coffee by yourself, luxury shopping, or a bit of movies or gaming. This isn’t about spoiling yourself; it’s basic emotional upkeep so you don’t drain yourself.

All images: Pexels

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