Four women share how they silence their inner critic, rise above rejection, and reclaim their confidence

"Dear Maahi,” an e-mail began. “We regret to inform you that your pitch is not what we are looking for at this time.” The message continued, complimenting my experience and wishing me luck in the future. However, I stopped reading after the first line—I was already spiralling into self-doubt, frustration, and helplessness. I desperately wanted to escape the torment of feeling inadequate and that all my achievements were just a stroke of luck. Self- doubt and imposter syndrome affect everyone, but research shows that women, in particular, experience them more. And on those days, we want nothing more than to hide away. But, boy! do we know how to make a comeback.

Bazaar India speaks with four women from diverse fields—suits, start-ups, and show business—to understand what it feels like to face setbacks, battle the imposter within, and the tools they’ve developed to overcome it.

The Downward Spiral 

Facing rejection, making mistakes, or encountering setbacks can be gut-wrenching, leaving one feeling stuck and hopeless. We may replay past failures, reinforcing negative beliefs about our abilities. “Additionally, elevated cortisol levels released during stress can exacerbate emotional distress, impair cognitive function, and contribute to burnout,” explains clinical psychologist Pragati Goyal. “When these chemical imbalances persist, they can lead to chronic stress, depression, and a reduced ability to cope, making it even harder to break free from the cycle of feeling stuck.”

Self-doubt, perfectionism, or fear of failure can lead to imposter syndrome. “It occurs when someone is unable to believe in their achievements,” explains clinical psychologist Ambika Chawla. “They tend to externalise their success and suffer from constant self-doubt, often performing excessive checks on their work.”

Actor, presenter, and marketing expert Sahiba Bali admits that the imposter syndrome still affects her. “Self-doubt runs across the female diaspora because we’ve been conditioned to cater to others—our bosses, families. We always feel insufficient, even when we’re not.” In 2022, a KPMG study found that 75 per cent of female executives across industries have experienced imposter syndrome.

“Women tend to be their own harshest critics, undervaluing their contributions and seeking external validation more than men,” says screenwriter Sneha Desai. Research from Cornell University shows that men often overestimate their abilities while women tend to underestimate theirs. Psychologist Goyal attributes the heightened prevalence of imposter syndrome among women to sexist and racial biases in upbringing, often gaslighting a woman’s success, and dismissing her accomplishments, which reinforces the belief that she doesn’t deserve them. Pracheta Mazumdar, senior marketing manager at Bumble India, agrees with  Goyal. “Women are taught to stay out of the spotlight, downplay wins, soften opinions, and hesitate before asking for what we deserve,” she adds.

Developing a toolkit

Overcoming imposter syndrome or recovering from a setback takes time. Quitting might seem tempting, but it’s not the answer. “Being kind and non-judgmental toward oneself is the first step to counteracting the harsh self-criticism that fuels imposter syndrome,” says psychologist Chawla. Niharika Kapoor, YouTube’s first female vertical head for Asia Pacific, suggests taking the first 24 hours to process emotions, then developing a multi-step action plan. “Every rejection or moment of self-doubt is an opportunity for self-awareness. Connect with yourself—what are you struggling with? Once you understand that, pivot your shortcomings into strengths and build on them. Celebrate the baby steps—progress over perfection.”

Mazumdar has her own method for combating imposter syndrome. “I keep a ‘receipts folder’—positive e-mails, messages, compliments—anything that reminds me I belong, and of the positive impact I’ve made,” she shares. Desai finds it helpful to separate personal shortcomings from failures. “Not every setback is solely my burden. I remind myself of my journey—the effort, sacrifices, and skills I’ve honed,” she explains. While every woman has their unique way of dealing with imposter syndrome, all agree that having a solid support system is crucial.

“A friend once told me she felt like a fraud in meetings—despite being amazing at what she does. We remind each other that expertise isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about showing up, learning, and improving,” says Mazumdar. “My strong, female friendships have also helped. They sit with me in my doubts, remind me of who I am, and push me forward.”

The comeback

Once you’ve developed your toolkit, it’s time for your comeback. Rejections and failures teach lessons that stay with you for life. “They don’t impact the next opportunity. A rejection from one project doesn’t mean the next one won’t come. It’s part of the journey,” reminds Bali.

Kapoor says she has realised over the years that if she is in a boardroom, she is there for a reason. “If you’ve fought for a seat at the table, it’s time to muster up the courage to voice your opinion. If you don’t, who will?” she signs off.

This piece originally appeared in the March print edition of Harper's Bazaar India. 

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