Are you guilty of using therapy speak?

When was the last time your friend ranted about someone gaslighting them? When did you last cross-check with ChatGPT to see whether someone was truly invested or just love bombing you? We are all guilty of using therapy language in daily life, simply because it feels familiar. Not too long ago, a popular survey backed this growing use of therapy terms in daily language. In 2022, Merriam-Webster named ‘Gaslighting’ its Word of the Year after reporting a 1,740 per cent increase in searches for the term. Recent research links the behaviour to a process called concept creep, where “terms originally describing serious forms of harm expand to cover milder experiences.” 

But, if you’re anything like us and wondering if it isn’t easier to classify things we think we are certain about, here’s something worth pondering over: Labels — as we all quite know — can be a dangerous thing. “Words like gaslighting, love bombing, narcissist, and manipulation are serious terms. The casual misuse of these terms can have a real emotional impact. People may start identifying with labels that don’t actually apply to them, or use these labels to justify reactions and decisions that may not be entirely fair or helpful,” notes Anushka Modi, an RCI-licensed clinical psychologist and mental health educator.

These concepts exist to help professionals understand patterns, formulate diagnoses, and guide treatment. When they become part of everyday arguments or social media content, they gradually lose their meaning. “As mental health professionals, we are also taught to use people-first language. A person is not their behaviour, their diagnosis, or a label assigned during a difficult moment,” says Modi. While it might seem like a good idea to analyse deeply, what matters more is whether the other person is willing to communicate, take accountability, and stay engaged in difficult conversations. Those qualities are far more telling than attaching a psychological label to every conflict. 

So, why do we do this? 

For many, having access to this language can be validating, helping them recognise unhealthy relationship patterns and make sense of their experiences. While it’s not entirely inane, there’s good sense in learning to avoid viewing incidents in isolation. Looking for consistent patterns is always a better idea, and some questions to ask include whether the person is repeatedly unavailable, consistently withdraws from conversations, or refuses to engage when issues arise. “Patterns, rather than one-off incidents, often provide a much clearer picture of the health of a relationship. And if you’re feeling uncertain or questioning your own interpretation of a situation, seeking support from a mental health professional can be incredibly valuable. It can help you separate assumptions from reality, understand what’s truly happening, and respond with greater clarity rather than reacting to labels alone,” shares Deepti Chandy, Therapist and COO, Anna Chandy & Associates. 

In our effort to identify red flags, we may inadvertently become quick to judge, dismiss, or reduce people to a single behaviour, overlooking the way healthy friendships and relationships naturally evolve through misunderstandings, repair, and growth. Not every uncomfortable interaction is gaslighting. Not every intense start is love bombing. Not every mistake is manipulation. Sometimes these are important therapeutic terms. And sometimes they’re just terms, not every self-appointed therapist’s diagnostic tool. And, if you’re trying to make sense of it, remember to remember that context, rather than quick categorisation, is essential to understanding the complexity of human relationships.

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